


Hanging Gardens

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Angst, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-09
Updated: 2006-09-11
Packaged: 2019-02-02 13:03:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12727122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Daniel is in a bad relationship.





	1. Crown of Thorns

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Deals with suicide, somewhat dark. If Paul is your favorite character, don't read this.  


* * *

1\. Crown of Thorns

Ever since Paul had come into his life, Daniel had grown familiar with pain. There was the pain he felt clawing in hot, radiating spasms as wood connected with flesh, the sudden sharp sting as fingernails broke across his back and then, finally, there was the deep, penetrating ache as a thick cock pounded into him ferociously. Paul fucked him with a vicious lust, always from behind, grunting harshly in time to Daniel’s sobbing cries. Once he satisfied his lustful dominance, pumping his seed in deep, he would force Daniel’s face to his limp, dangling cock for him to lick it clean of semen and blood. 

There was never any cuddling or fondling, no soft caresses, and never kissing. There was occasionally biting, marking Daniel for his with teeth and nail, and often there was punishment with wooden spoons or hard edged rulers to satisfy Paul’s sadistic pleasure, but he never held or wanted to be held. Daniel was thankful for that; he was sure that the mocking hypocrisy of a soft caress would shatter him, shredding what little bit of purity he had left and leaving him empty as the dead. Paul would take what he wanted, tearing ever deeper wounds from Daniel’s soul, and then leave.

Then there was the deep, throbbing pain that followed him for days afterwards, reminding him of what had happened every time he moved. There was the cringing pain of trying not to gag whenever he heard Paul’s name or from holding back a flinch when he came upon him unexpectedly in the hallway or a conference room. He had to listen unblinking whenever Paul’s merits to the program were discussed, as though he didn’t want to throw up. Hardest, though, was the pain that came from facing his friends. 

He saw the hurt in Janet’s eyes whenever he avoided her, going to the nurse Paul had found for him when he went through the required physical exams. The nurse was a hard find but, for a price, he would turn a blind eye to what he saw, never breaking confidentiality even when Daniel needed stitches. Daniel hated the look in his friends’ eyes when he begged off another get-together, the look of resigned disappointment when he told Jack he was too busy for their Friday night ritual. Even worse was when the hurt look didn’t come, when people he once considered friends started to sweep right over him as though he were invisible. So far, Sam, Jack, and Teal’c at least still saw him, even if only with disappointment, and sometimes that was worse. As Paul’s lust cut away at Daniel’s relationships, poisoning Daniel’s image, Paul’s hateful, derisive words cut into him, burning into his skin repeatedly until they carved grooves that could no longer be sanded over, no longer completely disbelieved. 

Daniel dealt with it. He pulled up masks as he needed them, masks well learned during the long, lonely years of foster care. There was his ‘I’m fine’ face, and his ‘I’m enjoying myself’ face and then there was his ‘allergies are acting up but really everything is fine’ face for when he couldn’t quite manage the other two. He would be fine, the pain left in Paul’s wake would heal, and life would go on. No matter how bad it got when Paul was there, eventually Paul would leave, returning to Washington to do his job. In fact, he was rarely in Colorado, and when he was, quite often their schedules conflicted to the point where Paul rarely visited. Sometimes he managed nothing more than a quick, nearly painless fuck before he was gone. When the pain was at its worst, whenever Paul demanded his body or struck out at him, he’d break himself into pieces, shielding his soul, and pull strength from those parts Paul couldn’t touch. He thought on Teal’c’s solid strength, a friendship and loyalty that never wavered. He thought about Sam, about her intelligence and determination, her passionate stubbornness when it came to protecting those she loved.

He did not allow himself to think of Jack. He knew that if he let Jack in at these moments, if he let it become about him, then it could only end by breaking them both. To remember Jack while he rode upon wave after wave of pain as the reason he endured could only lead him to the conclusion, no matter how irrational, that Jack caused this, and any strength Daniel might gain would turn to bitter loss. Sam and Teal’c were safe because they weren’t involved. Jack was, and if Daniel allowed himself to face that, it would breed resentment. Resentment would turn to hatred, tearing strips from his love and leaving their friendship tattered and bloody, and Daniel's very reason for living would be undone. Daniel would not let that happen. 

So the pain, Paul’s forceful abuse, the lonely detachment from his closest friends, all of it continued as Daniel turned slowly invisible. He felt himself draining away until one day he looked into the mirror and saw through all of his masks into the nothingness he had become. He lashed out in sudden, hopeless loss, destroying the image and leaving it in pieces on the floor. 

Wanting only to be pure and clean again, to be free, he found himself mesmerized by the blood welling up from his fingers. It wasn’t death he was seeking when he grasped at the broken glass, cleansing his reflection in the purity of red, but life, as though he could carve away his ugly, torn soul and be reborn, free at last from pain.


	2. Deep Roots

2\. Deep Roots

Jack liked to imagine himself as a tumbleweed, able to pull up his roots and replant himself in any situation. Occasionally, however, something would happen that would leave him ripped from the earth, and in the pain of that moment he understood how deep his roots really went. The death of his son was one of those moments. A second moment was the day he was forced to leave Daniel to die. That was the day he discovered that, without ever meaning to, he had fallen deep for a man.

It wasn’t the man part that was the problem; Jack had started having feelings for men around the time he realized that girls didn’t have cooties and had dealt with any issues long ago. The problem was that this wasn’t just attraction, this was full, blown out love. Without his realizing it was happening, Daniel had planted his own roots deep into Jack’s soul, and for that short time that Jack believed him to be dead, he had known the earth shattering pain of those roots being ripped away, tearing him in half.

Now it was a Friday night, and Jack was feeling a smaller but constant ache as Daniel once again canceled their plans. Jack wasn’t as dumb as he pretended to be; he had noticed that Daniel’s sudden cancellations always coincided with Major Davis’s visits to the SGC. When he had first noticed, a thousand different emotions had warred through him. First was jealousy, an irrational belief that if Daniel was going to suddenly show any inclinclinations towards liking men he should have chosen Jack. This was followed by a strong effort to quelsh his insane anger and jealousy, determined that if Daniel was happy, he would support him. That only lasted until Jack began to realize that Daniel was most definitely not happy. Something was wrong. He knew something was wrong, but Daniel wasn’t talking to him; Daniel didn’t seem to be talking to anyone these days.

Today, Jack was determined to root out whatever was upsetting Daniel and destroy it. It was early still; if Daniel was going to meet with Major Davis today it was probably going to be later in the evening. Thinking of them together, enjoying dinner, sent a wave of pain through Jack’s stomach, but he pushed it back. He wasn’t here, sitting outside of Daniel’s apartment to try and break up his relationship. Unless, he considered, Major Davis was the problem, in which case all gloves came off.

He had seen Daniel’s car and knew he was in, but he still hesitated to approach his door. He knew, on an instinctive level, that whatever was about to happen would end with Jack laying himself bare. His roots exposed, to be shredded or planted anew, all rested in how Daniel reacted. Even if Jack didn’t end by making a declaration of love, if he wanted Daniel to open up to him Jack knew he would have to open up himself to at least some degree, far more than he was normally comfortable with. Finally, determined to follow this through, he rang the bell. 

After waiting nervously on the doorstep for several minutes, it began to occur to him that Daniel wasn’t going to open the door. He tried the bell again, then knocked, shouting out for Daniel. Listening closely now, he heard no signs that anyone was within. Now he was puzzled, and just a tiny bit worried; he had seen Daniel’s car and he knew that he was inside. Laying his ear to the door he tried to tell if he could hear a shower, anything to tell him why Daniel wasn’t opening his door, but all was silent. Finally, his sense of unease growing and unable to wait any longer, he fished his keys out of his pocket. All of SG1 had a key to each others houses; it made sense with the amount of time each member tended to spend in the infirmary, but Jack had never thought he’d have to use it when Daniel was there. 

“Daniel?” Jack called, one last time, then he put the key into the lock and turned it. Without hesitating, he pushed the door open, threat assessing the apartment. Nothing seemed to be out of order, except perhaps that it was messier than the last time Jack had visited. It looked like Daniel hadn’t dusted for a while, and he could see dirty dishes in the sink in the kitchen. Jack didn’t find anything remarkable in this; after all Daniel did live alone and no one could keep their place spotless all the time. He continued his search for the missing man methodically, moving from room to room until the only place left was his bathroom. Now Jack did hesitate, wondering if perhaps Daniel was in the bath after all.

“Danny?” Jack tried again, but upon hearing no answer his growing unease overshadowed his disinclination to burst in on someone’s bathroom, and he opened the door. He half excepted to find that Daniel had fallen asleep in the bath, imagining his look of embarrassed annoyance when Jack came busting in. What he found was Daniel, not in the bathtub but crumbled on the floor, lying in a pool of blood.

Jack just stared for one second in shock, taking in the broken mirror, the bloodied hands and mangled arms, and then he staggered, feeling the sharp sudden pain of deep roots being ripped from a firm ground, turning his world upside down. Even before his brain began to catch up to his heart, his hands were leaping into action, diving for his cell phone. After a rather harried conversation with the emergency personnel, Jack let his training take over, applying pressure to Daniel’s wounds, trying to stop the blood from running away, over Jack’s hands, down his shirt and finally swallowed by floundering roots, seeking to find purchase upon a tiled floor.


	3. Tree of Oak

3\. Tree of Oak

Jack sat stiffly in the hard chair of a waiting room, staring absently at the blood on his hands. Daniel’s blood was drowning him, a river too fathomless for him to swim. He floundered in that river, trying to divine how he had gotten there, how things had gotten so wrong without him seeing. He should have been there sooner, he should have seen how lost Daniel was, and now they were both falling. He was out of his sight now, pulled into another room while the doctors tried to stop the red tide and pull him back to life. Jack had nothing left of him but blood, he floundered in it, until a solid, dark hand appeared to pull him out.

“Teal’c?” Jack asked, and he turned his head to see his teammate towering over him, an immobile force within a flurry of SGC personnel scattered around him. Jack observed, without really seeing, as Janet started to hound the nurses for information, flanked by a couple of officers apparently sent by Hammond in the wake of the ‘attack’. Carter was there too, standing beside Teal’c, looking flustered when she saw the blood staining Jack’s shirt and coating his hands.

“You will come with me, O’Neill,” Teal’c announced, his low voice cutting through the meaningless words flying about the room, the first sound that had truly gotten through to Jack since Daniel had been wheeled from his sight. Silently, he was led by Teal’c away from the room into a small bathroom. When Jack only stared blankly at the sink Teal’c led him to, the Jaffa started the water and pushed his hands beneath it. 

The sudden sensation of hot water against his hands jolted through his system. He watched as bits of Daniel washed down the drain with detached interest. All at once, everything was catching up to him, and he spun quickly, rushing for a toilet. Teal’c was there when he finished, offering him a small plastic cup of tap water. It was warm but Jack gulped it down anyway.

“You must remove your shirt,” Teal’c instructed, holding one up for Jack to change in to. Jack nodded, suddenly repulsed by the blood coating him. He felt like he had butchered Daniel, when all he had done was try to stop the blood. He changed at Teal’c instruction, then returned to the sink, this time scrubbing his hands with soap, removing the last of it. When Teal’c started to lead him to the door to leave, he began to shake.

“Crap, T,” he said, “That was Daniel I washed away. I washed him away.”

“You have saved his life, O’Neill,” Teal’c answered. His voice was solid, but gentle with contained passion, and Jack clung to it like a branch in a storm.

“You don’t know that,” he whispered, “They said we’ll have to wait and see.”

“Daniel Jackson will survive,” Teal’c answered, “He has much to live for.”

“Then why’d he friggin’ try and kill himself!” Jack demanded, “He cut his arms to ribbons, Teal’c! If…if…why?!” Jack lashed out, aiming for a tiled wall, but Teal’c caught his fist and refused to let go. Though this was the first time he had heard the details surrounding Daniel’s ‘attack’, and the truth hit him like a blow, Teal’c did nothing more than bow his head, offering his strength to his friend.

Jack still struggled to be free, wanting to break under the pain, until finally the storm was released in gasping sobs. He weathered the storm huddled on a bathroom floor beneath the solid presence of Teal’c, riding upon wave after wave of agony until he rode it out and fell into himself again.


	4. Wild Weeds

4\. Wild Weeds

Sam walked into the gift shop and found herself confronted by a wild array of flowers. She stood there in the doorway for a long moment, trying to orient herself and to understand how she had reached this place, how Daniel could have come to this place. Worse, how Daniel could have reached this place and no one knew?

Sam couldn’t leave it alone, her mind looking it over again and again as though it were a puzzle to be solved. Sam wished it were; she was good at puzzles. She didn’t know how to solve this. All she could do was wait, sitting by Daniel’s bed with Jack and Teal’c while Janet walked in and out taking care of paper work, until the doctors finally agreed that Daniel probably wasn’t going to die. She had sat there, waiting, analyzing, questioning until she couldn’t take it anymore. Mumbling something about the bareness of the room, she had finally bolted with some half-formed plan to get some flowers to brighten up the place. Now that she was here, however, she felt lost again.

Walking along the shelf of artfully arranged, neatly manicured blossoms, all she could think was the flowers were dying. Freshly cut and prettily arranged though they were, they were already dead and they didn’t even know it yet. Was that how Daniel had felt, walking around and pretending everything was fine when really he was dying? Sam had felt sick when she had learned how Daniel had been hurt, to know that he had done it to himself. As she stood among the jungle of dying flowers and get well bears, she wondered what you got for someone recovering from a suicide attempt. Congratulations, you failed? Get well soon, sorry you wanted to die, here’s a bear?

“Looking for something in particular?” a voice asked from behind her and she spun around, half expecting to find a salesman standing there. Instead, she found herself face to face with a man in a uniform.

“Major Davis!” Sam exclaimed in surprise, “I thought you were back in Washington!”

“I was supposed to fly back this morning when I heard about Daniel,” he answered, “Is he all right? All anyone would say was that he was in an accident.”

“He will be,” Sam answered cautiously, feeling uncomfortable with the familiarity with which Major Davis spoke of Daniel.

“Well, don’t you have any details?” Major Davis demanded. Sam frowned slightly. His concern sounded sincere, but there was something off about the entire situation. SG1 might have been on friendly terms with the major, but he wasn’t a part of their team; he wasn’t family. It seemed odd that he would cancel a flight just because Daniel was hurt.

“You’ll have to talk to the doctors,” Sam answered at last, knowing that they wouldn’t tell him anything. She turned away, looking over the flowers again.

“Yes, well…” Major Davis answered, before grabbing up a colorful bouquet set with a bright note that read ‘Get Well Soon!’. “I’ll just get these for Daniel.” Sam didn’t answer and Davis walked away to make his purchase. She hoped he would leave then, but he came back to where she was looking over the few potted plants in the store. They might take more of an effort and not look as bright as the fresh picked selection, but at least they were still alive.

“These reminded me of Daniel,” Major Davis announced, waving about his flower selection, “He always seems so…cheerful. I’m sure he will be all right.” So he had decided she needed comfort, Sam thought, and smiled briefly at him, all the while thinking that he didn’t know Daniel very well at all. She might have called him enthusiastic, passionate, even friendly, but not cheerful. If she was going to select a flower to match him, she wouldn’t choose any of those freshly pruned, garden flowers. Daniel seemed more rare. He would be one of those blossoms that looked so delicate and frail, yet grew in some impossible climate that would kill a normal plant. Like tundra, or maybe something from the desert, given his Egyptian roots.

Finally Major Davis left the gift shop, after trying unsuccessfully to get Sam to tell him Daniel’s room. She claimed momentary amnesia and sent him off to find the help desk while she continued to search for her own gift. Finally she selected a small, weathered looking plant with perked up leaves but tattered blossoms. It looked, in fact, rather like a selection of those flowers she often saw growing by the side of the road. They were also among those flowers that Sam knew for sure Daniel wasn’t allergic to, and, most importantly, they were still alive.


	5. Desert Bloom

5\. Desert Bloom

When Daniel awoke, the first thing he noticed was the smell. It was that old, sterile, medicine-like smell mixed with the sweet scent of flowers that invariably told him when he’d gotten into an accident off-world and was in the infirmary again. When he opened his eyes, however, he saw the shining, blurred form of windows which confused him. It took a moment for his sluggish brain to understand why; there are no windows underground. Unable to get his nose to agree with his eyes, he started to try and look about the room more carefully. Finally, his eyes fell upon the form of a man sitting in a nearby chair. 

“Jack?” Daniel whispered, still trying to line up his memories into some form of comprehension as to where he was and why. The blurred form turned his head, rising from the chair and stepping towards him. A moment later, a stream of people came bustling into the room, apparently to check on Daniel. He watched them with a puzzled, sleepy sort of concern. Only one person looked back, holding his clipboard in hand, as he started to ask Daniel questions. Daniel listened to the questions with a vague detachment, not completely sure this wasn’t a dream, but when he saw the man waiting expectantly for some sort of reply he finally said, “Daniel Jackson, July eighth, in the infirmary…with windows.” 

The form paused for a long moment, but soon started talking again. Daniel suspected he really should be paying attention, but it didn’t really seem worth it. He finally caught up with the man again when he was asking him how many fingers he saw, and that was only because a hand was thrust in front of his face to force his eyes on them before it was pulled back to a more reasonable distance. Daniel hazarded a guess of three, after staring hard at the pink blur. Then Jack’s voice was speaking and a moment later the world suddenly came into focus. He discovered that it was in fact two fingers the doctor was holding up. Finally, all of the people left the room except for Jack. 

Daniel focuses his eyes onto him, thankful that he could now see him clearly. He was starting to feel more awake and less bewildered now that they were alone again. It had finally occurred to him that he must be in a regular hospital, not the infirmary, which left him even more confused as to what had happened. Jack was staring at him with a strange expression, a mixture of softness, fear, and fury, making him uncomfortable, and Daniel made an unconscious move to wrap his arms around himself, only to find himself restrained.

“Jack?” Daniel cried, pulled at his arms against the restraints at his wrists and feeling the first jolt of pain in his arms. Suddenly, his memories came flooding back and everything fell back in to place. Daniel could feel himself wilting, the weight of his own impurity almost too heavy to bear. He pulled against the restraints again, this time in a vain attempt to hide himself from Jack and to be left alone to his shame.

“Danny,” Jack whispered, his hand reaching to take up Daniel’s, stopping his struggles to be free. It wasn’t the hand, though, that stopped Daniel but Jack’s voice, the heavy softness of it combined with the sudden use of a nickname that only Jack had ever been allowed. Then Jack’s next words froze him to the core.

“Who hurt you, Danny?” Daniel stared, wide-eyed, like a deer caught before the headlights. 

“No one,” Daniel answered, stuttering slightly, before turning his head away, not wanting to see the disgust or disbelief on Jack’s face.

“You tried to kill yourself,” Jack’s voice hissed in his ear, “You damn well near succeeded.” Daniel closed his eyes against the bitter venom in Jack’s voice, wishing he could curl up on himself. Then Jack’s hand moved to brush gently against his face, running through his hair with a softness that confused him.

“I’m sorry,” Jack whispered, the anger gone, “I should have seen something. I should have known.”

“It’s not you’re fault,” Daniel answered, alarmed. Jack was the one pure piece of himself he had left; he wasn’t going to let him sully himself with guilt.

“The doctors found signs of…abuse,” Jack continued. Daniel went very still and quiet.

“Janet was furious. She looked ready to split that doctor in two who’s been doing your physicals.” The quietly contained fury in his voice hinted that Janet wasn’t the only person who was angry. 

“Everyone knows?” Daniel asked, trying to shrink into himself.

“No,” Jack answered, “Just the doctors. And me.” Daniel swallowed painfully against the tightness of emotion running through him. He remembered the mirror in pieces, the blood running freely from his arms, and the intense desire to be clean. It hadn’t worked; he was more worthless than ever, and worse, now everyone could see it. His one, brief moment of failure had left him broken and bare for all to see. For the first time, he consciously wished that he had never woken up. 

He couldn’t look at Jack now, knowing that he’d see his failure reflected there, but Jack was pulling on him, forcing his fact to turn to look him in the eyes. What he saw there was the same, gentle fear that had so confused him before he had completely woken up.

“Danny,” Jack whispered brokenly when he was able to see the expression of Daniel’s face. Unable to stand that ashamed, fearful look on Daniel’s face but equally unable to find the words that might banish that look forever, Jack made a sudden move. Leaning over him gently, he brought his lips to Daniel’s in a soft kiss.


	6. Choking Vine

6\. Choking Vine

Jack took deep breaths, feeling the shock of what he had done coursing through him. He had kissed Daniel. Years of attraction slowly blossoming from friendship into love and suddenly he couldn’t hold himself back any longer, having to act. So he kissed his friend. And Daniel had looked back at him with such a mixture of fear, hope, confusion and, well, love that Jack felt sure he had stumbled into an alternate universe somehow and that none of this was real. From the confusion in Daniel’s face, he suspected that Daniel felt much the same way.

“Jack?” Daniel whispered, and then tears were tumbling down his cheeks and he whispered, “We can’t.”

“Why?” Jack asked. And the answer came in a flood of stuttering confusion. From the midst of the babbling confusion, Jack drew out the conclusion that Daniel couldn’t love Jack because his love would destroy him, and he had promised someone, and Jack would get hurt, and how could Jack want him anyway, as worthless and disgusting as he was. Though Daniel said none of this in exact words, his attempt at an explanation, mixed with the expression on his face and the tears coursing from his eyes were enough. Finally the speech stopped with Daniel turning his head away in his shame. 

“Tell me who,” Jack insisted, “Who hurt you, and I will destroy them.” But Daniel wouldn’t answer. Jack refused to leave for a long time, gently stroking Daniel’s hair, until he was sure Daniel was asleep. Then he finally had to leave, feeling the need to sort through his own emotions and to understand what was happening. Unwilling to go far, though, he slipped out to the nearest restroom.

He wanted to kill whoever had hurt his Daniel. Janet and the other doctors hadn’t wanted for him to know the extent of what they had discovered in the bruises on Daniel’s body, but he had insisted that, as Daniel’s commanding officer, he needed to know. When even that didn’t get him anything more than the fact that there were ‘signs of abuse’, he had finally broken into Daniel’s file. What he had read there had sent his blood burning cold through his veins. But Daniel refused to give any names.

Sighing, Jack forced himself to relax before he left the bathroom, walking slowly back towards Daniel’s room. As he approached, he saw a man leaving.

“Major Davis,” Jack barked sharply and the man jumped to attention. Jack glared coldly at the man for one moment, a dark feeling of unease uncurling in his stomach. He remembered his earlier suspicions that Daniel had been seeing him, suspicions that led towards darker suspicions which in turn led towards a sudden desire to snap the majors neck in two. Jack’s need to return to Daniel suddenly blossomed fiercely in his chest, and leaving the major standing in the hall he rushed past him towards Daniel’s room.

“Jack!” Daniel gasped when he burst into the room. He was struggling against the restraints in panic, fear flooding his eyes as he struggled to breathe. Jack moved swiftly to his side, hitting the call button and grabbing Daniel’s hand.

“Easy, Danny,” Jack said, trying to keep his voice steady and calm, “Just breathe.”

“Jack,” Daniel gasped again, “Said…hurt…Sam…hurt…you! Stop…don’t let…Jack!” Finally, the doctors and nurses on call came running into the room. There were several long minutes of flurried activity before Daniel was finally calmed, breathing easily, aided by a mask and a light sedative. Jack never left his side. Finally, when they were alone again, Daniel was able to speak.

“You have to stop Paul,” he pleaded, “I broke the rules, I wasn’t supposed to hurt myself, I wasn’t supposed to…he was so angry and I couldn’t move, and then I couldn’t breathe…he said he’d hurt Sam…he was going to hurt you! Stop him, Jack!”

“Did he hurt you?” Jack asked quietly. Daniel looked away, still pulling feebly at the restraints on his bed.

“Danny,” Jack whispered, softly. Suddenly, Daniel turned towards him again.

“He had pictures,” he whispered, “Pictures of you. With a man. He was going to expose you. I couldn’t let him Jack. He said he wouldn’t if…if I…we had some rules. I would be his…and he wouldn’t hurt you.”

“I broke the rules, Jack,” Daniel continued suddenly, “He was so angry. I told him I wouldn’t tell but he wanted to hurt me. He…he broke that plant next to my bed and said something about Sam.”

“I will protect her,” Jack answered, and silently to himself he added, ‘and I will kill him.’ Daniel was growing sleepy from a combination of his panic attack and the sedative.

“I love you, Danny,” Jack whispered softly. His defenses down and doped up on his medication, Daniel answered, “I love you, Jack.” Then he was asleep.


	7. Pruning

7\. Pruning

Anger burst in sharp spikes, sparking behind his eyes and tightening his skin into hard fists. Jack rode upon his fury, swallowing it whole to be contained in the sparks of his eyes. He found Major Davis with little trouble haunting Sam’s lab with a soft apologetic smile. Sam didn’t seem particularly happy herself, standing calm as a storm about to strike. Teal’c stood beside her, an unmovable mountain of strength that had Davis unconsciously leaning away. To those who knew him best, Teal’c’s expression was anything but calm, though it retained a control that Jack envied.

Jack strode upon them from behind, as yet unseen by anyone except Teal’c’s observant eyes, and he gave no sign towards the man he faced. Sam could have seen him too, if she wasn’t preoccupied with Davis.

“Look,” Davis was saying, “I’m sorry to be the one to have to say this. I don’t know, maybe you are too close, you just can’t see it, but I think there is something disturbing about O’Neill. I really think he might be…responsible for Daniel’s condition.”

“Colonel O’Neill is an honorable man,” Teal’c answered, his voice dark.

“Major Davis,” Sam said, her own voice clipped but still polite, “I don’t know what you think you are seeing, but I can tell you that the Colonel would never hurt Dr Jackson.”

“I know, you’d want to think that,” Davis persisted, “And I really hate to even suggest you are wrong. But I have pictures…I have proof that O’Neill…prefers men. Now, what if…”

“Major Davis,” Sam interrupted, “We thank you for your concern, but unless you have business here concerning the SGC then I think you really should leave.”

“But…” Davis began, “You can’t approve of…”

“Who Colonel O’Neill prefers or does not prefer is not your concern,” Teal’c said.

“The colonel would not hurt Daniel,” Sam agreed, “Even if he did ‘prefer men’ as you put it. I ‘prefer men’; do you think I hurt Daniel?” Major Davis finally stopped trying to speak, taken aback by how well his latest revelation was received. After a second, though, he regrouped and began again.

“I’m sorry you will not listen to my warnings,” he said at last, “And I truly hope you are correct. I’d hate to discover that Daniel suffered further injuries at O’Neill’s hands because you wouldn’t listen.”

He started to turn away, only to feel a hand on his shoulder. Jack had heard enough. The barely contained fury welled within him as he spun the major to face him, then brought his fist across his face, knocking the man to the floor. Peripherally, he knew that Teal’c and Sam were still there, calling his name, but he had eyes only for Davis as he crouched over him, ready to strike again.

“Daniel told me,” he hissed, “You threatened one too many of his friends. And now you’re going to die.” Davis stared back at him in a dazed sort of horror as Jack raised his fist again, but someone grabbed it from behind.

“Sir!” Sam yelled, “You can’t, not here like this!”

“Let me go, Teal’c, he deserves to die,” Jack said, trying to pull free of the Jaffa’s grip.

“Is Major Davis responsible for Daniel Jackson’s condition, O’Neill?” Teal’c asked.

“I’m not, it was him!” Davis cried, “You kill me and your career is ruined, Daniel will be ruined! I have pictures, proof, everything; if I die is automated to be sent out to everyone in the SGC!”

“Sir,” Sam tried again, “You can’t just kill him.”

“This man raped Daniel, Carter!” Jack cried in frustration.

“Indeed,” Teal’c said, and Jack suddenly found his hands free, “Then it is just that he be killed.”

“No, Teal’c, Colonel, wait!” Sam cried, “Not like this! There are procedures!” But even her voice didn’t sound that certain, and she made no move to constrain Jack.

“I saw the reports,” Jack continued, “I saw the pictures. If ever there was a scum sucking bastard in this galaxy who deserved to die, it’s you. And that includes some pretty nasty snakes out there.”

“Daniel wouldn’t want this!” Davis cried, quaking from the threat in Jack’s eyes, “He wouldn’t want you to kill for him! Do you really want that guilt on Daniel’s head?”

Jack’s eyes narrowed further, the sparks igniting into flames as he clutched tightly to the major’s jacket.

“You’re right, he wouldn’t,” he admitted. Then leaning in closer, he whispered into Davis’s ear, “But he isn’t here, is he.”

“You’ll go to prison! How will that help Daniel?” Davis demanded. Jack glared in response, knowing that he was right and hating him for it. At least, hating him more.

“Sir, please,” Sam pleaded, “We’ll find another way to do this.” Finally, Jack nodded, releasing Davis’s coat.

Major Davis scooted away from Jack and Teal’c as he rose from on top of him. This brought him closer to Sam, who he seemed to feel safest with.

“Do you see what I was talking about,” he asked her, “He’s violent! And you still think nothing I said could be true?” He stood up, glaring towards the colonel indignantly, wiping at the blood running from his nose. Sam looked at the major, hesitating in how to respond. Without warning, she kicked him hard, directly between the legs. As the major crumbled back to the ground she walked away, joining Jack and Teal’c.

“Is Daniel all right, sir?” she asked as they walked towards the door.

“He will be,” Jack answered, “As soon as scumbag is dealt with.”

“Will you not kill him, O’Neill?” Teal’c asked.

“Too many cameras here, T,” Jack answered as they left the lab, “He’s right. I would probably be sent to prison for it; hell if he really does have those pictures I could do time anyway. That wouldn’t help Daniel.”

“Ah, sir,” Sam said, “And these pictures…they would be real?” Jack hesitated, trying to read her expression.

“Because I want to show you some interesting tricks I can do with photos on a computer,” she finished, grinning. Back in her lab, Major Davis finally made it back to his feet. Glaring darkly towards the door where the three had left, he made his own way down the hall. He had his own threats to carry out.


	8. Serpent's Tongue

8\. Serpent’s Tongue

General Hammond listened with a grim countenance as poison dripped from Major Davis’s tongue. The major had taken twenty-four hours to consider the best way to proceed before he finally approached the general with his proof. Colonel O’Neill was portrayed to be a pervert, a seducer of the youth, and in no way deserving of his position. The pictures showed Jack’s unmistakable form as he held another man. As he lay with another man, in bed, on top of him, inside of him. The pictures left no doubt in their activities and very little to the imagination.

Major Davis was still talking, savoring the dark look on the general’s face, when a voice interrupted him from behind.

“An interesting story. Did you get to the part where I’m supposed to rape Daniel?” Major Davis spun around to find the Colonel standing in the doorway, his stance calm but his eyes were intense as they dared the major to go on.

“Colonel O’Neill, how would you explain these pictures?” the general asked pointedly, and for a moment Jack’s calm wavered. Davis waited for Jack’s denial, knowing there was nothing he could say in the face of such evidence, and a slight smile tugged at his lips as he anticipated his victory. But Jack’s answer wasn’t a denial at all.

“Grief,” he said, his voice soft but with an edge, as old memories came back to haunt him, “You will remember Nem, sir? I was intending to retire. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.” The general’s features remained hard, but he nodded his head slightly in acknowledgment.

“Never since that time, sir,” Jack insisted, “I don’t do casual.”

“But you do do men?” Davis demanded, “And you had a wife. And a son!”

“I never cheated on Sara,” Jack answered, his anger starting to get the better of him, “I loved her.”

“Gentlemen!” Hammond interrupted, before anything could escalate, “Will we please stick to the issues at hand. Major Davis, you are accusing Colonel O’Neill of committing homosexual acts?”

“I am, and I have the pictures to prove it,” the major answered.

“Is there anything else you would like to add to the charges?” Major Davis hesitated, his hand going briefly to his face where it was still swollen from when Jack hit him the day before. 

“Sir,” Major Davis answered at last, “I have no proof of anything more but I do have suspicions. I believe that Colonel O’Neill has been having…sexual relations with Dr. Daniel Jackson. And in light of the doctor’s hospitalization, I believe this relationship may not be entirely…consensual.” He spoke with just the right combination of hesitation and concern. He himself was the very picture of innosense in the matter.

“But you have no more proof?” Hammond asked, frowning slightly, “No more pictures than these right here?”

“None,” Davis answered, staring the general right in the eyes.

“Very well,” Hammond answered sadly, “You have left me no choice. Colonel O’Neill…how are Teal’c and Major Carter doing?”

“They called back just a couple of hours ago,” Jack answered, not seeming in the least alarmed by Davis’s accusations, though there was still a hint of fury behind his eyes every time he glanced towards the major. “They found more pictures in a hidden vault and Carter’s been doing her thing on the computer. Found an interesting program connected to the base e-mail. Everything has been erased and destroyed.”

“And they’re sure they found them all?” Hammond asked. Jack shrugged.

“Carter’s working on a new program right now, ready to flood the base with fake photos. It can take one person’s face and put it over another person’s body. Very convincing. She even offered to provide the first model for the ‘prank’ considering that, well, no one is about to take her photo as anything but a fake.”

“In fact,” Jack continued, “We have a few samples right here.” He pulled out his own photos which were identical to the ones Davis had shown with one slight modification. It now looked as though it was Major Davis instead of Jack. The major looked at the pictures, gaping, then back towards Jack and the general.

“Major Davis,” Hammond said, “In light of this new evidence, I am going to have to request that you resign from your position and leave Colorado. I even took the liberty of drawing up the paperwork.”

“General Hammond,” Davis cried in confusion, “Surely you aren’t going to just…”

“As far as I’m concerned,” the general interrupted, “You should be behind bars for a very long time. However, I think it will be easier for all involved if this entire mess were to just disappear. Now, you can either make a fuss and go to prison, and you will go to prison, or you can let it drop and get out now.”

“You mean you don’t want any publicity,” the major answered, his face dark, “I bring you proof of a man’s wrongdoings and you turn me out.”

“Damn right we don’t need publicity,” Jack answered him, “Danny doesn’t need to go through that. But I’m warning you now, you say anything to anyone, you go anywhere near Daniel, you do anything out of line and I’ll hunt you down and kill you.”

“Jack,” Hammond reprimanded, then turning back towards Davis, he announced, “Fill out the paperwork. When you’re done you will have an escort to the airport. Your flight is already booked.” Davis continued to stare, turning his head between Jack and Hammond. Finally he acknowledged defeat. But even as he signed the paperwork, he knew that this was far from over. He had seen how Jack and Daniel looked at each other. Daniel was his, and he would stay his even if he had to kill him.


	9. St. George, the Wyrm Slayer

9\. St. George, the Wyrm Slayer

Daniel couldn’t seem to stop his tears. It was as though the mirrors edge he had used to cut away his pain had instead cut through all of his defenses, leaving him open to the world. Jack loved him, Jack had saved him, but the pain that was Paul would not leave. Feelings of love and hate washed over him, drowning him in their intensity. His ‘I’m fine’ masks didn’t fit anymore as he desperately tried to rebuild the cracks in his walls. But at the same time, those burning tears that would not leave also refused to fall, hanging trapped in his eyes, leaving him blind.

“I love you, Danny,” Jack said softly, watching him with patient eyes. Daniel had finally been released into Jack’s care. Though he was still on suicide watch, it was hoped that, with Paul and his threats gone, he could at last start to heal. Daniel wasn’t sure what he felt, about anything. It didn’t feel like it was over; it didn’t feel like any of this could be real.

“You can’t,” Daniel said, so long after Jack had spoken that it took him a moment to connect it with his earlier statement.

“Why can’t I love you?” Jack asked once he had puzzled it out.

“I…” Daniel answered, stumbling over his words, “You can’t. I can’t. There’s the air force, and…there’s me…I can’t…”

“I love you,” Jack insisted, “Regulations won’t change that. And there is nothing about you, done to you, or done by you that could change that.”

“Jack…” Daniel whispered, his eyes threatening to break beneath the weight of his pain. Jack couldn’t stand it any longer, he had to take that final step that separated them and take Daniel into his arms. To his relief Daniel didn’t flinch or pull away, but he didn’t lean into the embrace either.

“When you’re ready, Danny,” Jack said, “I can wait. Forever. I’ll still love you.” Daniel remained tense in his arms, though he still made no move to escape. Jack continued to hold him, willing to stand there all night if he had to. Daniel made one last move as though to escape or flee. Then he shattered, falling into Jack’s arms. 

“I love you too,” he whispered, shuddering, as the tears finally fell in floods. Jack held on tight, not letting him fall, as the pieces that were Daniel slowly allowed themselves to fall back into place, finding a shape to be whole.

When all of the tears flew away from his eyes, washing over them both, Daniel came back to himself feeling better than he had in a long, long time. 

“I still have scars, Jack,” Daniel said, still huddled in the safety of Jack’s arms. Feeling his bandaged arms, he whispered, “I’ll always have them. I won’t be able to forget, Jack.”

“I know,” Jack answered softly, “But you will move on. We’ll move on. You may still remember, but it will be the past, not the present. It will get better.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Daniel asked, starting to stiffen in Jack’s arms, “You’ll want sex, Jack, and I…I don’t know if I can.” 

“I want you, Danny,” Jack answered, “You are all I need. Sex is over-rated anyway.” Daniel couldn’t hold back a snort at that. Then they were silent again.

“Jack?” Daniel finally said, his voice suddenly hesitant, “You know...he…he never kissed me.”

“Daniel?” Jack asked, pulling away slightly so that he could look him in the eye, though never letting go completely. He saw fear in Daniel’s eyes, but also hope. Then Jack drew him towards him again, but instead of hugging him tightly, he brought his lips forward until they touched. The first kiss was soft and quick, almost chaste. The second was longer, deeper, and so sweet it made them ache. 

It was too much, all at once, and Daniel felt the weight of love and hope just as strongly as sorrow and fear. It was crushing him with its intensity and he drew back, out of Jack’s arms so he could breathe. He couldn’t look at Jack for a long moment, afraid to see the disappointment or anger there, but when he finally did, Jack was smiling. 

“Yeah, sometimes my kissing does that to people,” Jack said, smugly, but with strangely understanding eyes, “People have been known to faint from the power of my kisses.” Daniel gave him a hesitant grin in return.

“You sure it isn’t your breath?” he asked, and his grin widened at Jack’s mock injured look. Jack grinned in return. He knew they would have to go slow, that Daniel may never be ready for some things, but at that moment, he also knew that they were going to be all right.

Outside, another man watched them with an insane fury. Daniel was his, and would remain his. Despite the trembling rage that turned his world red, it was with an oddly steady hand that Paul raised up a gun. He had seen enough and now he would take back what was his. 

As he pulled the trigger, his grin triumphant, another gun sounded. Pain, unlike any he had ever known, blossomed through him. The hard ground pulled him down as the red haze of rage now ran down soaking into the grass. He had lost Daniel, he was lost within his pain. The last thing he saw before his world went still was the cold and empty sky.

Inside, Jack watched the sudden red blossom from Daniel’s chest. It was Jack who cried out in pain even as he reached out to catch Daniel as he fell.


	10. Babylon

10\. Babylon 

Jack held on tightly to Daniel, trying to hold back the tide of blood that threatened to carry Daniel far away. He left Hammond to make the necessary calls, to check on Paul’s corpse. The general had burst through the door only moments after Jack was finally getting his mind around what had just happened, shouting something about Major Davis, and cut phone lines, but Jack was lost to anyone but the man in his arms. He listened only well enough to understand that any further threat had been eliminated, that the monster was dead at last, and then all focus was upon holding on tight to a life that was slipping away.

Daniel awoke from his pain in a place far, far away from where his body lay dying. He was in a jungle, tangled and dark and threatening. There were vines of wicked thorns wrapping about the trees and vicious, sharp edged plants sprouting from the ground. Worst of all, he was alone, completely alone. He could hear the hard, growling threat of creatures hiding in the shadows, but there was no person there to hold him safe. He could feel the darkness pulling at him, wanting to end him, and he saw a path. It led to someplace bright, and safe, and he began to walk. Far from that place deep inside Daniel’s mind, Jack tried to hold on tighter, feeling torn and shredded and desperate. Daniel stopped breathing.

“No,” Jack whispered, feeling the faltering heartbeat beneath his fingers as Daniel’s body failed, “Daniel, stay.” He began CPR.

Upon that lonely road deep in the dark jungle, Daniel suddenly stopped, feeling someone calling. The jungle was tight around him and there seemed to be no way to go, no way to escape but towards that brightness, but he could hear Jack calling him. Suddenly, with firm, crushing hands, Jack broke through the jungle, tore away the dark thorns, and left a path up into the sky. Daniel followed his voice until he was standing in a wondrous garden high among the clouds and stars. There were great, strong trees and bursts of wild flowers, and at a tall bubbling fountain, Jack was waiting.

“My breath is your breath,” Jack whispered, “My heart is your heart.” Then he held out his arms and Daniel rushed to him, letting him hold him.

“Don’t leave me, Danny,” Jack said as he held him, tears flowing from his eyes, “Stay.” 

“I love you, Jack,” Daniel answered. The garden wavered around them, threatening to break apart and take Daniel with it, but Jack’s hold strengthened. His roots were dug deep, soul deep, and the only way Daniel was leaving was if Jack went with him. 

Beyond the garden, where Jack continued to work frantically to hold Daniel in life, Daniel’s body once more gasped in air, his heart pumping blood. Daniel stayed.

 

An emergency team was not long in coming, having already been ordered to the vicinity as a precaution the moment Hammond learned of Major Davis’s escape from the airport. As they pulled Daniel from Jack, Hammond saw the gut-wrenching devastation and fear written across his face, the sort of look that defied regulations and in the midst of his own wrenching fear that he had been too late in coming, Hammond found himself absurdly glad that his back-up team was outside dealing with the corpse and not in here to see Jack’s pain. Daniel was loaded quickly into the ambulance, the emergency team working over him urgently, and Jack followed, deaf to all suggestions that it might be best if he followed in a car.

Still holding tight to his hand, Jack followed Daniel on his journey back towards life. When he flat-lined again, Jack’s garden held strong and he wouldn’t let him fall back into the jungle, back towards that bright, sharp end that would leave them both alone. The emergency workers brought him back. 

It was hours before Daniel was declared stable again, many of which Jack finally had to spend away from his side, but still holding on tightly to his soul. It was days before the doctors spoke optimistically of his chance of recovery. But in the end, Daniel stayed.

Paul was dead, much too swiftly and easily for Jack’s taste, but the monster was slain. Daniel was alive, though not awake, and Jack was once again at his side, holding his hand. Teal’c and Sam stood guard over them, their solid love holding them both beyond the dark thorns that threatened to tear them apart. Their garden was solid, their roots were deep, entwined together tightly. Finally, when he was ready to live again, Daniel opened his eyes. For the first time in a very, very long time there was no pain, no darkness, or emptiness. There was only Jack and his love. 

Together, souls entwined, they stayed.

The End


End file.
